jaclcfrost:

in all my years that i have been on this earth i have not played spin the bottle once. does this mean that i’ve never actually lived? do a lot of people actually even play spin the bottle? or is its importance and prevalence stretched and exaggerated in media? these are the questions of the hour

(via inflatableme)

lord-kitschener:

“what if the aborted baby could have cured cancer???”

oh my god what if the last egg I bled onto a kotex product could have cured cancer??

oh my god how am I not birthing every possible egg I produce, lest one of those resulting babies be the person who cures cancer/AIDS/creates world peace????

what if that baby could have been a musical artist described by pitchfork as “liberace with a metalcore twist”????

how dare i not be pregnant/birthing all the time always?????

(via reppepluc1)

ringostarring:

ok, new theory. maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us

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well maybe we would sound so bad if some people didn’t try to play with big meaty claws

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what did you say, punk?

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bIG

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MEATY

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CLAWS

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WELL THESE CLAWS AIN’T JUST FOR ATTRACTING MATES

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BRING IT ON OLD MAN, BRING IT ON

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no people let’s be smart and bring it OFF

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OH SO NOW THE TALKING CHEESE IS GONNA PREACH TO US

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(Source: crele, via reppepluc1)